Chris and Tracie and Josh and Mia, that last bit's for you
I hope you had a good Thanksgiving. I swam in a sea of champagne and Phil Collins and witnessed some nachos be avenged (the avenging of some nachos? someone avenge some nachos? this is truly an awkward thing I’ve wandered into here), which means we can actually live here permanently now, if someone will just periodically mail me some other necessities. If they open a Target on Regent Street and get cracking on that transatlantic tunnel, I’m set.
London Cringe next Monday night
We’re back at The George again next week for the next London Cringe. A few reader spots are still open, so contact me if you’re interested. Hope to see you there!
Monday, November 23, 7:30 pm
Upstairs at The George Pub
213 The Strand, London WC2R 1AP
Cost: free, as always
Crossing the streams
At The Zoo
I've already broken my own rule, in case you were wondering
Lately I’ve been on a tights-buying spree. This is great because they’re a pretty cheap thing to spree on, and they somehow manage to update the six outfits I brought with me to England for the entire winter. I now own burgundy ribbed woolly tights and dark indigo opaque tights and brownish-gray cable knit tights (more on those in a second) and these sort of unfortunate shimmery turquoise tights that didn’t look so shimmery in the store but in reality give me unnecessary sexy Smurf legs.
When I was about four years old, I had this great pair of thick woolen cable knit tights, in navy blue. I would give my left nut to find these in adult sizes, that are actually thick and stretchy and not see-through. I thought I found a pair last week at the Gap, but when I got them home and put them on, they were hipster tights. Not asshole hipster, but like, only comes up to your hips, barely. The whole point of tights is that you’ve got to pull and yank them up higher than normal to get them all stretchy and fitting. Why in the world would anyone think they need hipster tights? No one is admiring your stupid jutting hipbones right now. It’s not 2003.
So, internet, tell me where you’ve found good cute tights, or knee socks, preferably online or somewhere that I can also find them in the UK. I already know and love Sock Dreams and Accessorize, but give me what else you got.
Those second lists are exactly what you think they are
Written on the back of an envelope last night at 2 am, found on bedside table just now:
People I Don’t Trust:
- Thomas the Tank Engine
- Wesley Snipes
People Nick Doesn’t Trust:
Written on the front of the envelope:
- Clive Owen
- Jimmy Stewart
- Helen Mirren
- Paul Newman
- John Leguizamo**
- Jean Reno
- Oliver Reed
- Harvey Keitel
- Liam Neeson (Star Wars only)
- Tim Robbins
*"That's gross. She was like twelve." "No, it's not gross, because I was twelve too." "So you want to go back in time to when you were both twelve." "Yes." "Do you realize so far this list is an old lady, a cartoon, and a preteen?"