Sarah's so boring now

Sexy errands accomplished today:

1) Buying Nick an ear candle. I’m usually the one who’s half-deaf, but Nick recently got some water trapped in his ear and can’t hear a damn thing. Add to this the fact that we both mumble quickly, and we spent our entire afternoon out saying, “What? Huh? Say it again? No, I’m not being a dick, I didn’t hear you.” Finally we broke down and did something about it because the best part of being out together on a weekend is making snarky comments under our breath about people next to us, and you can’t shout I SAID DID YOU SEE THAT WEIRD LOOKING BABY? more than once at the same bus stop.

2) Buying Nick some socks. Nick has lots of socks, but apparently only one pair that are the right kind, and the minute those are dirty he moans, “Where are my socks?” and I say, “You have a drawer full, ” and he says, “But none of them are good ones.” And then I’ll say, “Do you want me to buy you some socks?” and he says no. So

(Yes, I realize I’m writing about this kind of crap now. Sorry, man. I’m not going to write about the sex, so I guess you get to hear about the socks. I promise I’m not going to start recommending appliances or giving away jeans or Nintendos or breeding anytime soon.)

so today we walked into some cheap sporting goods store and they had the elusive magic socks and we bought a giant pack of them. And then we walked out the door and I said, cheerfully and in complete seriousness, “Well, I’m glad we finally got you some socks,” and then I said, “Oh my god. Did you hear what I just said? I am in a place in my life where I’m really glad that we finally got you some socks.” Then we went home and had amazing sex, the end. Actually we didn’t, we had it before we went out, but I’m not writing about the sex, am I. Lucky you!