Hey, internet. Guess what? I’m feeling a whole lot better than I was just a week ago. Our situation is still the same, but my attitude is different. (Eh, that seems like a poor word choice, because I don’t believe depression and attitude are even in the same room together, but I’m just trying to say that right now, my outlook is so much cheerier.)
I think it has a lot to do with the sun finally coming out in London and staying there for nearly a week. I typically like rainy days and anytime the weather encourages me to stay inside and be cozy and read a book, but four months of that is a little much, even for me. On Monday I took Esme to the zoo, and even though it was still cold, it was sunny and bright and the sky was blue and it was so amazing to be out of the house. It was also fun to spend all day with Esme, who aside from being criminally cute is also incredibly good company. While we were walking through Regent’s Park to get to the zoo, Esme kept shouting, “AMINALLLLS! I AM COMING TO SEE YOU!” like she was Daniel Day-Lewis in Last of the Mohicans, and everyone around us kept cracking up.
But most of the reason I’ve felt up to staying out of bed is due to all the kind comments and emails you sent. Nick would read them all at the end of the day and we’d both struggle not to tear up. I know we still have a long way to go and very little to go on, but there’s a whole lot to be said for the kindness of strangers. This feels so cheesy to say, but it’s true. I can’t tell you how reassuring it was to hear that we aren’t the only ones, and that things do get better. I mean, practicality tells me that things do get better, but it’s nice to hear it from someone else.
I wish I could take everyone who wrote and put you all in a room and buy you all pizza and beer. Maybe this room is on our own private tropical island and everyone has their own suite with an attractive, blind masseuse? We’ll work out those details later. But thank you, internet, for reminding me of why I like the internet in the first place.