Ostrich feathers, anyone?
I always like hearing about other people’s favorite daily products, the things they swear by, the things that make their lives easier. Mostly because I never stop believing that I can find something in a fluorescent-lit store that will change my life forever for the better. I’ve been thinking about writing about my own favorite things for awhile now, but then I’d think, oh, that’s so frivolous and silly, just a post about products. Then I remembered I have a blog. So here you go!
Philosophy Soap & Water - Here’s the thing: I am obsessed with smelling clean. I don’t want to smell like flowers or fruit or any of that teenage stripper bullshit; I want to smell like I just stepped out of the shower, all day long. So I use a body wash and perfume called Soap & Water. The perfume is especially nice in stinky hot New York summers - if I don’t have time to shower again before going out at night after having been out all day, I just hold up my hair and spray the back of my neck. Sometimes I do that just for myself, before I go to bed. If I want to feel fancy, I use Fresh soap in Freesia, because my college boyfriend always said, “Freesia smells like pretty girls.” If I want to feel really fancy, I’ll use Coco, but only in the winter.
Benefit f.y..eye – I realize, this tiny little jar costs $20. It will also last you several years and make your eye shadow stay on all day long, not slide off into the crease and give you that weird shiny line like when Bugs Bunny dressed up like a girl.
L’Oreal Vive Pro Smooth Intense conditioner – If I could choose hair products based on smell alone, I’d use Pert Plus 2-in-1 every single day, but it makes my hair feel like I washed it in chlorine. My hair went curly all of the sudden a few years ago, like practically overnight, and for awhile I tried all kinds of products for curly hair. They are all basically a waste of money, especially anything you spray on. That shit’s for straight-haired posers. Once I even blew $40 on some fancy Frederic Fekkai specially-formulated curly hair shampoo and conditioner. They smelled great and didn’t do jack. I have yet to try anything that works better than this L’Oreal conditioner. I buy the one that says “For Dry, Frizzy or Rebellious Hair,” not because my hair is particularly dry, but because my hair is always cutting fifth hour to make out with burnouts beneath the bleachers.
OPI clear base & top coat – I can’t stand getting salon manicures, except for the part where they give you the hand massage, so I do my own nails. This stuff will make your manicure last at least a week without chipping. I personally feel that the only two choices for a lady are red or clear, but I’m not the boss of you, so go ahead and get a French manicure and look like a small town child bride if you want. However, if you are painting your own nails red, the two secrets are: your nails must be short, and you must paint them the night before, so that in the shower the next morning, you’ll get rid of any excess polish on your fingertips while you wash your hair. A few days later, give yourself another application of the top coat. I like to do this while I watch Law & Order: Criminal Intent. NEVER SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT; Ice-T causes bubbles while drying.
Brush Ups – Apparently toothpaste is a hot button issue these days, so I’ll sidestep that minefield and tell you instead how I’m obsessed with Brush Ups. I keep them in my purse and sometimes it’s all I can do not to use them right there at the table after lunch. I also daydream about flossing sometimes. I know; I’ve got to get laid.
L’eggs microfiber tights – I spend most of the winter wearing wool skirts, black tights, and tall boots. It’s much warmer and cuter than wearing pants. This brand is my favorite because they’re silky and stretchy and don’t snag or run easily, and you never get that horrible crotch-hovering-one-inch-below-your-actual-crotch situation. They cost $5 at Duane Reade and last forever, so long as you wash them with your delicates like your mama taught you.
Sunbeam heated mattress pad – Emily told me that this was how she and Tony survived their first Chicago winter. I’m sure she also meant that their love kept them warm, but as we all know, one shouldn’t depend on love to keep one warm, nor to pay one’s bills. Love < electricity. In so many ways. Anyway, this thing is a godsend for someone like me, who can’t stand sleeping in socks or long sleeves or pants, or basically anything heavier than perfume (see above). I will begrudgingly put on winter layers before bed, only to wake up at 3 am, sweaty and cranky and peeling them off. When I lived in Oklahoma, my winter pajamas were a T-shirt and knee socks. Basically, I want to wear a tank top to bed all year long, and now I can! It has 10 heat levels and an auto shut off, and I usually switch it on while I’m brushing my teeth, so by the time I climb into bed, everything's toasty, and my socks and pants can come off, and all is right with the world. In so many ways.