Bride of Cringe

Tonight is Cringe. ABC Nightline. Heavy stuff. I predict some awesome.

It’s 110 degrees outside. My mother keeps asking me what I’m going to wear “to be on TV,” and I keep saying, “Sweat, probably.”

Tonight she kicked it up a notch and asked, “Is it all ironed?”

I said, “Yeah. Well, what I’ve done in preparation is get it all soaking wet, wad it up into a ball, sprinkle it with flour, put it in a plastic baggie, and put that baggie in the dryer. But I didn’t turn the dryer on.”

Without missing a beat, she said, “I don’t want to hear that Okie ‘yeah’ on camera!”