Senioritis

My dad usually starts his workday by reading the New York Times online and sending me links to interesting stories, typically articles about outer space or religion or something, the kind of stuff he and I dork out about together. I can tell that he’s having a slow afternoon at the office when I get a link to this treat at 4 pm, along with the message from sender: “Is this great or what? Talk about a maggot gagger.”

I can’t decide what I love more—that my dad was bored enough to click on the Vows section, or that lurking somewhere deep inside my financial planner/marathon running/salad for dinner/wash the car every Saturday whether it needs it or not father is a snarky girl.

We then had the following email exchange:

Me: I think there’s more to this bandaged hand business then they’re letting on. “Nervous preparations with his rambunctious groomsmen.” Like those boys were all blushing and giggling and fainting in the side room like the Bennet sisters. Sounds more like a chainsaw/stripper accident if you ask me.

My dad: The Bennet sisters?

Me: From Pride & Prejudice?

My dad: Oh of course, I remember the series in DC Action Comics featuring Sgt Rock of Easy Company where nothing comes easy.

Attached was this image.

I called him at this point and said, “So what are you doing, Dad?” and he said, “Eh, reading Elderhostel magazine. Someone sent it to me. It’s for old people who want to travel or something.”