If I were a superhero, my power would be the ability to tune out everything and everyone around me while reading. I can read anything anywhere, completely zoned out, and people have to shout my name multiple times or wave a hand in front of my face to get my attention. (I have a similar power when it comes to sleeping, but that’s beside the point.) So far all this power has brought me is some annoyed boyfriends and roommates and some quality uninterrupted reading, but today it brought me something else: mysterious animal feces!
I was sitting in Bryant Park, under the trees, reading my book and eating my lunch, blocking out the whole world, and it wasn’t until I stood up to leave and put my bag over my shoulder that I realized some animal had shat on me from above. Then I had to walk back to work trying not to brush my hair across my polluted shoulder, go into the women’s restroom, strip down, and attempt to scrub my shirt in the sink. Did I mention how I work in a construction site and the women’s restroom sometimes doesn’t have running water? Because that part is pretty awesome. I can’t decide if the worst part was that I have no idea how long I sat there unaware, or that it wasn’t from a bird, because it wasn’t white. However, the bleak but best part was that I happened to be wearing a brown shirt.