Congratulations!

Tonight we watched The Golden Globes, and from what I could tell from my low-grade-fever, root-beer-float-addled brain, it was just one giant Michael Douglas circle jerk. I could really get behind the idea of lifetime achievement awards for actors if, at the end of the montages and speeches and good-natured ribbing, there was a mercy killing right there onstage, gangland-style. Sort of like what the eskimos do with their old people, only with more blood spattered on Sharon Stone.