Every hit I ever had was tossed up right here
While driving around town today doing our Christmas shopping, my brother told me about his previous evening’s activities, which involved bloody knuckles and a fire extinguisher and “some Arabian dudes,” and then he had to call someone named Kyle to apologize for ruining a hotel party or something. The whole time he was talking I felt like Bill Murray in Rushmore when he watches his twins wrestle and tells Max Fischer, “Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like these.”
Today all of my clothes were in the washing machine, so I had to search my closet, and behind my prom dress I found a corduroy Abercrombie & Fitch shirt from my freshman year of college, and decided on a whim to wear it. Then in the car my brother was listening to the Violent Femmes and Odelay, and it was sort of like stepping back to 1996, only with less BLANK.
I just accepted a dare from Adam, and tonight I have a bachelor party to crash. Also, I can’t stop saying “it’s DELUX, son” like that wanksta kid in the Coca-Cola faux Cribs ad.
I am so sick of me.