With Old Age Comes Wisdom:

1. At the grocery store, I bought some Froot Loops on a whim. I haven’t eaten Froot Loops in at least a decade, and in my absence, there’s been some major changes. Where did the green, blue and purple come from? What happened to the yellow? And what the hell is a striped lemonberry?

2. Sitting at the stop light in my black Honda Accord, bored with the radio, bored with my music, bored in general, I notice the sign outside the body shop that reads “Flame Kits $99” and think heeeeeeeeeeey.