Best Friend Ever:
Tonight I am attending a Natalie Merchant concert with my friend Laura. I hate Natalie Merchant. I don’t care for her music, not one tiny bit. When I was a freshman in college, my roommate and I had one steadfast rule: she wasn’t allowed to play any Natalie Merchant while I was in the room, and I wasn’t allowed to play any Green Day while she was in the room. (Hey, it was 1995. I was young and confused. I had a weakness for loud immature boys.)
Anyway, Laura’s not really a big Natalie Merchant fan either. This all came about because her boyfriend suddenly got a job in Arizona and left within the same week, and while I was in the midst of comforting her, she mentioned he’d bought her tickets to a Natalie Merchant concert for Valentine’s Day, and now he won’t be here to goooooooo. Like any caring friend, I said, Don’t worry; I’ll go with you.
Stupid stupid stupid.
She brought it up again this week, and I said, “Wait, are you really going to hold me to this? Besides, They Might Be Giants are playing here the same night! And since when are you a huge Natalie Merchant fan?”
She got excited and said, “They Might Be Giants! I love them!” Then she became solemn, as I guess many Natalie Merchant fans are wont to do, and said she really felt like she should go, since they’re like second row seats and it was such a sweet present and he’s so far awaaaaaaaaaaay.
Second row: that means we’re close enough for Natalie to see me rolling my eyes.