Sucka-fooled by the beauty myth. Again.

• Do not wander the aisles of the drugstore aimlessly when restless and bored.
• Do not attempt home hair color, even if it’s “only temporary.”
• Do not confuse the model on the box with yourself. Her face is not your face. Her happy-go-lucky smile indicates a personality that is not yours. More importantly, her straight, sleek, shiny Asian hair is nothing like your thick, wavy lot in life.
• The color “Burmese Ruby” does not occur on anyone’s head in nature, and with good reason.
• Do not believe Laura when she says it looks fine.
• Brace yourself when your mother asks, Is that how you wanted it to look?
• You have the fine people at Clairol to thank that it will wash out in 24-28 shampoos.