My mother would be so proud:

Thanks to this post, I am now the number one search result when someone Googles “naked neighbor.”

Seriously, though, who’s searching for that? Like, people who are into neighbor porn? Is that some boring off-shoot of deliveryman/naked housewife porn? Or people who want to see their own neighbor naked? Maybe it’s those people who type crazy long sentences into Google like my grandma used to talk to our answering machine (“Please tell them that I called”), because I’ve received several hits from “i want to see my neighbor naked.” Then get off the goddamn computer and go linger by their kitchen window like the rest of us have to do, you perv. The internet is magic, but not that magic.

And yes, I am totally aware that this post will just garner even more of those hits, but I had to share. Sharing is my weakness.

Also, just for the record: I was wearing underwear.