For the love of God, is she ever going to shut up about her birthday?

I am really in no state to be forming words, especially words posted for all the world to read, but if I get up from this chair I’ll have to start cleaning up all the bottles and cans and cups that are covering every square inch of my apartment right now, and I’m not ready to do that just yet. Seriously, I had no idea I had so many surfaces that could be covered with bottles and cans and cups, but this place seems to have been conquered in the name of Harp and Newcastle and Corona. And limes. I have never in my whole entire life seen so many limes as the ones that are in my kitchen sink at this moment.

My drunken co-ed slumber party last night was exactly that, times eleven. I have never had so much fun in my life. There were no less than two games of Spin the Bottle, one with everyone in a huge circle, and another at 4 am with a select group in a dark corner. There were more people on my balcony than was practical or safe. There was breakdancing. There was a birthday cake that read “25 II.” There were peaches marinated in vodka. There was an impromptu singalong to “Suzanne.” There was kissing of people’s younger brothers that used to be babysat. There was a Benjamin Franklin action figure and a Tiki god and iron-on panties. There were soooo many cute boys. There was a whole fucking lot of tequila. I spent the evening liberally applying my Mary-Kate and Ashley lip gloss to whomever I was talking to at the moment, and at one point there was a sort of clothed orgy on my bed and I think someone got to second base with me while someone else’s hand was on my ass and I was whispering to a third person altogether, so I’m pretty sure it could be scientifically proven that it was the best party ever.

I took pictures pictures pictures and more pictures. I took pictures of girls kissing. I took pictures of boys kissing. I took pictures of everyone passed out. I took pictures of myself in bed. I took pictures of my bedmate. I took a whole roll of pictures I don’t even remember taking. I can’t wait to get them developed tomorrow. Maybe I’ll share some with you, darling internet. Until then, I have some bottles and limes to deal with.