Break these chains of love:

My quiet evening of Trivial Pursuit took a turn for the awesome last night when I showed up at the Byrnes’ house and Erin greeted me at the door with “Brian’s giving us all fake tattoos!” and sure enough, DeKinder’s entire back featured a fucking flawless freehand Sharpie drawing of a naked lady riding a lion with the words SOONER BORN, SOONER BRED across the top. Then Brian and I pitched a Cranium no-hitter, and then suddenly the “we’re going to run by the bar for just a second to drop off this CD” turned into several drinks and then a few hours later I was at a club dancing to Erasure and then a few hours after that I was making out while the sun came up.

I’m not sure what it says about you if you’re making out with someone and you say “We should probably stop,” and they say, “OR, not! And tomorrow let’s go out for pizza!” and this sounds like a good plan. I think it means you’re both total bad asses. Plus, pizza!

Also, it’s been decided that I’m buying a tire iron and naming it Betty. Soon people will yearn for the good old days when Sarah used to just punch us in the face.

Next up: pirate movie! Actually, in all honesty, next up is cleaning the tequila off my hardwood floors, but then it’s totally the pirate movie.