Que Sera Sera


Someone just arrived at my site by searching for “happy birthday poems for an ex-boyfriend.” Well, I aim to please.

DISCLAIMER: In no way are these poems representative of my own personal past relationships or ex-boyfriends. I only date champions. With nice moms.

Que Sera Sera Happy Birthday Poems for an Ex-Boyfriend, Or Perhaps a Current Boyfriend You’d Like to Release from His Contract:

Happy Birthday!
I wouldn’t know whether or not it happens to everyone,
Since I wasted my youth on only you.

Happy Birthday!
You should quit acting so cool
I saw that picture of your ex;
She was fat.

Happy Birthday!
I only acted like it was endearing that you still got “Nintendo Power” magazine
Because of the tremendous guilt I felt
From fucking your best friend.

Happy Birthday!
Size isn’t everything
And evidently
Neither is
Personality nor
Charm nor
With you
It’s mostly size.

Happy Birthday!
Your mom
Is a bitch
Your sister is too.

Happy Birthday!
Do I want to hear another song you wrote on the guitar?
For the love of God

Happy Birthday!
The time has come;
I’ve made you over.

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