A top heavy 1 2 3 4

1) Check this quote in this article in the Post about Halloween costumes in the office:

“Forced fun in the office makes me throw up in my mouth a little,” he says.

Way to go, David Evans. You basically just got quoted in a newspaper saying, “Let’s not go there,” or “Whoomp, there it is.” Granted, it was just the Post, but still.

Can people please quit saying this? It’s like the trucker hat of funny. It wasn’t even that funny the first time around, in that movie that wasn’t even that funny, spoken by that woman who’s not that funny, and the only reason she was even in the not-so-funny movie was because she’s married to Ben Stiller, who’s DEFINITELY not funny. The worst part is when people say this, they still expect you to laugh while they sit there acting all nonchalant and original, like number one, they made it up, and number two, they’re just not having any of it. Moratorium, called.

Anyway.

2) If you hate Halloween, don’t look at my pictures, they’re hideous!

3) If you love Cringe, come this Wednesday night. 8:30 at Freddy’s. You know the drill by now, right?

4) Happy Birthday, Website. Remember four years ago? Hooooo, me too. As David Evans would say, let’s not go there.

Updating my site about not updating my site

So, hi. What’s up. Yeah, I know. Listen: I’m not so much abandoning Que Sera Sera as just sort of neglecting it. Totally different.

I’m trying to concentrate on writing elsewhere, offline, which takes up a lot of time, both real and exaggerated. Also, anything I’d write here lately would just be me gushing about how happy I am, and there’s no way to make that particularly interesting or funny. There’s nothing more boring than hearing about how great someone else’s life is going unless you have a personal stake in it, or you’re their best friend or parent or something. Basically, I’m super freaking happy. My boyfriend continues to thoroughly woo me in a number of ways, such as mailing me postcards printed in Tagalog from his office, seriously proposing that we spend New Year’s 2006 in Brazil, and telling his mom about me. Shut up! I know! This is why I’m trying to refrain from writing about it, because it’d just be gushing, and do you want to read that? Hell no. The less complete strangers witness me being all giddy about sick and twisted courtship rituals the better.* All I’ll say is that he’s really fucking smart, welded his own soapbox derby car, and once dressed as Abrams Lincoln battling John Wilkes Booze for Halloween, so you can see what I’m dealing with here.

Right! Anyway! Moving along… other stuff in my life. Uh… I’ve seen a bunch of movies and gone to some good shows? I bet you have, too. Let’s not pretend like either of us really wants to hear about it, though. Uh, Halloween? I’m going to go as a zombie cowgirl because I’m broke and I own all the pieces for it already.

I know: travel! I’m going to San Francisco in two weeks, where I’ll do all kinds of cool stuff with the verboten aforementioned dude, including seeing My Morning Jacket at the Fillmore. I bet it’ll be great. Do you care? Probably not. Do I care to tell you to about it? Eh, not really, we'll see.

Okay, look: I refuse to post filler just for the sake of posting, or worse, one of those catching-up things, like a really boring email I’d send to someone I hadn’t talked to in several months who lives far away and would probably just skim it anyway. This doesn’t mean I’m done with this site—I like having the venue, and I’m sure I’ll return to it on a more regular basis eventually. I’ll continue to post updates about Cringe here, much to everyone’s annoyance, I’m sure, but man, if you haven’t been to one yet, you should, because they’re really freaking hilarious.

And I realize the fact that I just broke the seal means I’ll probably post again tomorrow.

*Okay, just this once: so he told his mom about me, which is clearly awesome on its own, but now whenever they talk she tries to be all nonchalant and says things like, “So, how’s your… uh… friend Sarah? What’s she doing these days?” and he says, “Meth. Mainly she’s doing meth.”

No Cringe Tonight

In case you haven’t heard. Cringe will return November 2nd, historically a red-letter day for awesome things happening, going back as far as 2004, so long as you don’t count the presidential election and just focus on how I got drunk with my parents when they came to New York and brought me my bed. My dad made this dip and there were also these crackers and it was pretty good.

HR

So something that might not go over well in the work elevator is when someone sees your Barnes & Noble bag and says, “Get anything good?” and you shrug and say, “Eh, white power cookbooks.”