Outgrown

SCENE: an H&M in Brixton. NICK and SARAH have ventured out to buy NICK some new shorts since his only pair is missing three buttons, one of which is the top button.

SARAH: Do you like this shirt?

NICK: Eh. The sleeves will make me look gay.

SARAH: Try it on.

NICK: [tries on shirt]

SARAH: Yeah, the sleeves make you look gay.

NICK: [removes shirt]

SARAH: Try on the jeans.

NICK: [tries on jeans]

NICK: What does “fitted waist” mean?

SARAH: Aren’t all waists sort of fitted?

NICK: Oh Christ, is the waist like this so the jeans definitely show your underpants?

SARAH: You could just pull your shirt down?

NICK: I think I’m too old to shop here.

SARAH: You’re not too old to shop here.

NICK: I’m 34. These clothes are for young people.

SARAH [surveying store]: These clothes are for slutty 1980s babysitters who get killed in the first part of the movie.

NICK [wearing black cargo shorts with his brown socks pulled up high]: Can I just wear these out of the store after we pay for them?