I should have given her this one.
Me: Do you want to borrow some books to take on your trip?
Megan: Sure, whaddya got?
Me: Well, what sort of thing do you want? Fiction, non-fiction, thriller, classic?
Megan: Something good. And not depressing.
Me: So no Sarah N. books.
Nick: Sarah N. books?
Me: One time I was super depressed and didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts for even one second on the subway, so I went over to Sarah’s house and asked for some good books, and she loaned me a bunch about suicide and organ harvesting.
Megan: And the Holocaust.
Me: And the Holocaust.
Megan: No, I want something uplifting.
Me: So definitely no organ harvesting.
Megan: And nothing with a stupid title like The Women’s Lady Whispering Bee Club.
Me: That rules out this, then. I couldn’t get through it, but maybe it would be bearable on vacation.
Megan: “Oh, I couldn’t get through it, but you’re dumb, maybe you’ll like it.”
Me: No! I just mean, you have lower expectations for anything you read next to a body of water.
Megan: Okay, that’s true.
Me: Plus I wouldn’t care if you lost it. You’d be doing me a favor.
Megan: No. I want something uplifting and transformative, that will change my life forever for the better.
Me: That’s a tall order.
Nick: Why don’t you take this? It’s my favorite book of all time.
Me: Wait, I wanted to read that.
Nick: You lost your chance. It’s been on the bedside table for two months now.
Megan [leafing through]: Yes, this is it. I can feel it.
Me: Wait, are you sure? You don’t want my book of Norse myths? It’s really great because they have these notes at the end of each myth where they tell you which bits came from Snorri Sturluson and which came from Saxo Grammaticus.
Megan, to Nick: Thanks!