Imprints 3: Taking the piss

1. It’s cold and rainy out, so we order Chinese for dinner. I get the chicken with broccoli and fried rice, like always. We eat while watching Law & Order: SVU. I can never decide if I like Olivia or not. During the show, my tongue keeps exploring that space between my two back molars. I think I have a piece of rice stuck back there, but I wait until the credits to go check. I totally do.

2. I am walking down the street, almost home, going out of my way to step on the crunchiest-looking leaves, when I remember that we’re out of toilet paper. The sun is starting to set and all the brick buildings are bathed in that late afternoon light that makes you crave bacon, or maybe a good hard slap across the face. I decide fuck it, we have kleenex.

3. No one who has ever known or loved me has ever truly appreciated the experience, as I am a beautiful misunderstood shadow full of wisdom and sex appeal. Every single person whose life has been touched by my presence remains in a stalled state of wistful remorse, except for the moments when God visits them with shooting pains for leaving and forgetting me. I sit on my throne built from baby femurs, checking my email and cackling.