I am a dork circa 2000, Exhibit A

So there’s this little pad of paper I use every day at work.

I don’t know how it ended up on my desk, but it’s there, and I write on it, and every single day, without fail, I add this to the bottom:

Why is this still taking up valuable brain space? I could remember when to use lie and when to use lay, but no, instead I remember that somebody set us up the bomb.