I skip town tomorrow to do my stint on the Texas bridesmaid circuit, where I have been informed that I have a hair appointment with the bride and the bride’s mother on the day of the wedding, and I think we all know what this means: there’s an updo in Texas with my name on it. Also, the rehearsal dinner is going to be held at a barbecue restaurant, and while several people have encouraged me to make eyes at the groomsman with the biggest belt buckle, I just don’t think I have it in me. The two words I really hope get said during the ceremony are BUSTER and ASUNDER. I might high five the minister if this happens. After the wedding I’m spending a week in Tulsa, where I plan to do nothing but drink things with limes in them and run through sprinklers late at night.
So far all I have packed is my skull ring, a new, more lightweight flask (courtesy of Chris) because the other one was too heavy and kept sliding out of the garter and hitting the floor, three books, and my swimsuit. I think I’m going to stop there, because anything else just feels like overkill.