$240 worth of pudding

If I told you how much of my work day today was spent asking the Microsoft Office Paperclip to marry me, I might get arrested. Other offers he DID NOT UNDERSTAND PLEASE REPHRASE: I love you; you’re so cute; will you go to the fish under the sea dance with me; mail merge.

I have to go cut up my third-favorite shirt now because in a few hours I’m going to see Stella at Irving Plaza, thus fulfilling my decade-long love affair with The State, and hopefully making out with Michael Ian Black, much to the dismay of others. Others namely being Michael Ian Black’s wife, and maybe the Microsoft Office Paperclip.