Cure all

Two things guaranteed to turn my day from no good to so good:

1) Someone sending me mail that ends with “I think we should be pen pals, so in an effort to persuade you I have enclosed a picture of a tiger and some cinnamon chewing gum,” and inside the envelope is a picture of a tiger and some cinnamon chewing gum.

2) Someone calling me and telling me the worst pedophile jokes they can think of until I’m so horrified I can’t stop laughing.

I had a cold fresh chocolate-covered strawberry first thing this morning, and it was so good that now my day can only go downhill, unless someone spontaneously gives me a flying pony or free plane tickets or a tornado machine or a beagle puppy, or, as my friend Brian suggested, puts me on a Bud Light drip. My money’s on the downhill, but feel free to be the one who surprises me.