Soup Wars

My mom called me early in the day today, when I hadn’t taken my cough syrup or spoken to anyone yet, and evidently I sounded pretty horrible, because she called me back later that afternoon, and then had my dad call that night. Both of my parents were very concerned that I was out of chicken noodle soup, which I should never have admitted to them in the first place.

10 am:
Me: Hello?
Mom: Ohhh, honey. You sound terrible.
Me: I’m really not that bad today; I just sound bad because I’m coughing a lot.
Mom: Well, just make yourself some chicken noodle soup.
Me: Actually, I ate the last can I had yesterday.
Mom: You don’t have any MORE?
Me: Uh, no.
Mom: Oh dear.

3 pm:
Mom: Hi, honey.
Me: Hi, Mom.
Mom: I was thinking, maybe one of your roommates could stop on their way home and get some more chicken noodle soup?
Me: Well, one of them is home sick too. It’s really not a big deal.
Mom: What about your landlord? Maybe if you called and asked? Maybe his wife was going to stop by the store already on her way home from work?
Me: Mom, I am not going to call my landlord and ask his wife to bring me soup. I’m fine.
Mom: I was just thinking, that’s all.

8 pm:
Dad: Hi, [PET NAME MY DAD CALLS ME DELETED]!
Me: Hi, Dad!
Dad: Mom says you’re sick!
Me: Yeah, I have been, but I think I’ll be better by tomorrow.
Dad: Mom says you’re out of soup?
Me: It’s okay, really.
Dad: Aren’t you all supposed to be getting a lot of snow?
Me: Yeah, it’s snowing now.
Dad: You’re going to be sick and snowed in with no chicken noodle soup?
Mom, in the background: Tell her to ask her landlord—
Me: I am not going to ask my landlord to go get me soup!
[Raising my voice causes a coughing fit.]
Dad: Doesn’t sound good, [DELETED PET NAME].