Will we have rainbows, day after day?
Several people have raised the crass but technically practical solution to my cold sleeping problem: find someone with whom to share the bed. I’ve been considering this, as well as declaring it open season on serious dating as a whole, so I made a list, and have decided to only settle down with people who fit one or more of the following descriptions:
- 1940s scientist guys (the earnest, frenzied, tall and good-intentioned kind always featured in MST3K movies)
- early space program-era astronauts
- a young Abe Lincoln
- people with access to their own personal robot army
- someone who desperately wants to massage my scalp daily
- brown-eyed boys
- Buddy Holly
I would also consider going steady with the following fictional characters, should they break free of the television screen and ask to court me: Joel
Hodgson Robinson, Dr. Peter Venkman, Nicky Holiday, Madmartigan, Big Pete, George McFly, Trip Fontaine.
Perhaps it’s detrimental of me to be this picky, given that all I have to offer a man is my nice-smelling hair, extremely soft hands, and the fact that I know every single word to “Bust A Move” without having to look at the karaoke screen even once, but also, there’s the fact that I know every single word to “Bust A Move” without having to look at the karaoke screen even once, and seriously, who else would you rather have raising your children or robot army?