Keep it like a secret

So, Operation: Fly Home Surprise Everyone was a total success. What? You didn’t know about Operation: Fly Home Surprise Everyone? That’s because I am the best secret-keeper ever. I’ve been planning this for the past two weeks, so I had plenty of time to devise the best surprise set-ups for everyone back home, and they were all executed better than I’d even planned. I got to see all of the wonderful people I’d been missing so badly for the past two months, plus I had lunch with my mom and played with our dog and got a haircut and a flu shot and went to a party and The Pie Hole and good old Caz’s and drank a bottle of Boone’s like a 15 year old, and then I got to sleep in a bed that didn’t require inflating, and it was seriously the best day ever.

In fact, the success of Operation: Fly Home Surprise Everyone left me feeling so giddy and reckless that I impetuously embarked on Operation: Cut Swoopy Bangs, and evidently yesterday was MAGIC DAY because it TOTALLY WORKED. If you knew my cowlicks, you’d realize just how risky this operation was—even riskier than flying across the country with no one knowing—making its success all the more miraculous.

This week holds the promise of Operation: Go to Target, Operation: Watch Ghostbusters With My Brother, and Operation: Eat Some Authentic Mexican Food Because Seriously, Mexican Food In New York Is For Crap.

Home feels good.