Just in time for Valentine’s Day: Flower-Buying at a Glance

Carnations say, “Thanks for being my grandma, Grandma.”

One rose says, “I thought of you when I got my change back from buying gas on the way to pick you up.”

Dozen red roses say, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Kirsten/Ashley/Mackenzie/Tiffany. I love you.”

Dozen peachy-yellow roses that are red around the tips say, “Sarah, my name is Prince William, and I’m here to say you’re lovely, smart, and oh-so thin. Would you like a job at the Onion?”

I’ll be away for a few days, but hopefully I’ll return with fewer toilet stories and more funny. Happy Valentine’s, all.