So Let it Be Written:

I always look forward to this time of year, not for the bunnies and chocolate and redemption, but for the airing of Cecil B. DeMille’s The Ten Commandments. It’s such a sprawling spectacle—Egyptian eye makeup! Vincent Price! A young John Derek as Joshua, presumably before he fit any battles. And a script based on the old testament! You just don’t get that anymore. Not to mention Yul Brynner as the Pharaoh Ramses. God, do I ever love me some Yul Brynner.

One year, they didn’t air it, and I pitched a fit, so my family actually went to Blockbuster and rented it. Two tapes. Four hours long. Everyone but me fell asleep, drugged by the Easter ham, long before Charlton Heston’s beard turned white. It’s best for the first and third hour. The whole finding-God-in-the-desert part is boring, but the Egyptian court and the plagues are awesome. It’s all worth it just to hear Anne Baxter purr, “Moses, Moses…”