Way You Walk:

One of the most backhanded compliments I’ve ever received was from a guy I dated in high school who told me I walked like a “lady golfer.” I honestly think he considered this a compliment, judging from his surprise by the WTF? face I made at him, but it’s stayed with me ever since. Until that moment, I had always prided myself on my normal walk. Now I worried: do I walk funny? Do I walk like Nancy Lopez? I don’t even like golf! Or sex with women, for that matter! In theory, I mean. I’ve never really given either the old college try.

Last night, while walking through the mall, I decided maybe I should try to put a little more sway into it. I figured, I’ve got these hips, so I should be using them. I felt all cool and runway model-sexy until I caught a reflection of myself, swinging and shimmying like Anastasia Krupnik trying to impress Washburn Cummings.

Lady golfer it is.