He ain’t heavy:

My 18 year old brother has been staying with me for the past few days. He drinks all my Pepsi. He Lysols his pants in lieu of washing them. He uses the word “party” as a verb, as in, Do you care if we party here tonight? and, Why not? Ryan’s sister lets him party at her place. He sleeps on my couch until 4 in the afternoon. He clips his toenails over my bathtub. He needs the television to be on at all times, even if he’s in the other room. He does not understand why I’m squandering away all this living on my own and being able to buy alcohol by staying in and reading on a Friday night. He thinks I am so L7.

That’s okay, because I remember when he wore the top to his Superman pajamas every single day for a year.

(Cape included.)