I made myself a cup of coffee in the kitchen at work, and while looking for a spoon, I discovered:
a) We do not have any spoons.
b) We have an entire drawer full of funeral home can openers.
You heard me: can openers—not the turn-and-twist kind, but the kind with the sharp end—with the words Moore Funeral Homes: First in Facilities, First in Service on the handle. I’m not quite sure what the intended demographic is here. People mourning the loss of a loved one, but desperately craving canned peaches? Very unsettling.
I took them all, of course.
Guess what everyone’s getting for Christmas?