Katie, this one’s for you:

My cell phone rings at work. It’s in my purse under my desk, and I forgot to turn it off after lunch. My computer and desk phone buzz like a bug zapper.

Me (trying to keep my voice down): Uh, hello?

My brother: Heeeeeyyyy!

Me: Hey. Can you call me back on my work number?

My brother: Uh, I don’t know it.

Me: It’s 555—
My brother: Wait. I don’t have anything to write it down on.

Me: Can’t you just remember it?

My brother (laughing): Nooooooo way.

Me: Where are you?

My brother: Chilling at the park with Kyle.

Me: What are you doing?

My brother: A little gin and juice. Sunny Deeeeeeee style.