Holy Matrimony 2:

Tonight, I am integral to a scheme in which one of my very best friends will propose to another one of my very best friends. I am especially excited about this because I am the reason they met in the first place, which means I get to stand up and give a wonderful toast at the rehearsal dinner, one that I’ve been practicing in my bathroom mirror for months now. I’m really going to work the room with this toast—make ’em laugh, make ’em cry—it’s so good, even I tear up. Really, you all should hear it. My shower curtain still needs a moment to recover, even after all these performances.

Anyway, this couple has been together for over five years, so it’s not like this will come as a huge shock or anything. They’ve looked at rings together and discussed marriage thoroughly, but she just doesn’t know that it will happen tonight. She’s been talking about it a lot lately, though, and last weekend, we were all in a bookstore when she picked up Martha Stewart Weddings and called him over. I was about to roll my eyes and tell her to give it a rest when she pointed to the two birds atop the cake on the cover and whispered to him, “Look: this one’s me, and this one’s you.”

It was very heart-warming, and not at all in a Hallmark way, so I bought the magazine last night to give to her tomorrow, along with a homemade card that says “You’re getting married! Ha, I totally knew it.”