Let’s get rid of August:

Myself, I’m all for getting rid of Tuesday. Tuesday has always been the crappiest day of my week. I’ve never understood why everyone bemoans Monday. You know Monday’s coming, and you need Monday. Deep down, you welcome Monday, just like you welcome vegetables and rice after eating Twinkies and Cheetos all day. And if something goes wrong on Monday, people are nicer about it, more willing to just chalk it up to it being Monday. Come Tuesday, though, the gloves are off. It’s still too early to even contemplate the weekend, and you no longer have the Monday excuse to fall back on. Tuesday is a bitch.

I propose a four-day work week, with Tuesday omitted. You spend the weekend having fun, Monday working, and Tuesday running errands or doing laundry or just staying home. Renew your car tag on Tuesday. Scrub your bathtub. Balance your bank statement. Do all of those lunch hour errands that make you cranky. Suddenly, Monday isn’t so bad, is it? And then you come back on Wednesday to a glorious three-day work week. Can you imagine how much happier America would be?