Indiscretions:

When you play the Miss America drinking game, you drink when anyone says children, education, hope, heroes, or breast cancer, and since you finish the bottle of wine before they even narrow it down to five contestants (Miss Nevada was robbed, yo), you run the risk of standing in front of an ironing board before 10 pm, ironing choice words and phrases onto more than just the T-shirts purchased earlier that day. For instance, I personally know of two people whose pink panties now have the word PUNK across the ass in tall red letters. And, maybe, one person’s just say “tap.”