My birthday is in less than two weeks, and while I will be celebrating with a coed slumber party (more on that later), I won’t be celebrating 26. I decided that I wasn’t really satisfied with how I spent 25—there was a lot of squandering and laziness and some poor decisions—so I’m calling a do-over. Therefore, on June 10, I’ll turn 25 Part II: Electric Boogaloo.
What is the traditional gift for someone turning 25 Part II, you ask? Since I’m always thinking of your convenience, I’ve devised this helpful chart to make your shopping trip a breeze! No: thank you.
Any of the below are deemed acceptable:
- Mary-Kate and Ashley lip gloss
- MST3K art
- a shirt with this image on it
- more bubble bath—25 Part I wiped me out
- a beagle puppy
- a DVD player
- a digital camera
- a dunebuggy
- Jack and/or Meg White
- all the members of The State to come to my coed slumber party
- a chance to go back in time and record “Kiss Me Deadly” before Lita Ford
So get to it! Jack White ain’t gonna buy himself.
Seriously, I’m so excited about this year. Things are going to change; I can feel it.