Order of the Dorknik:

So after a few beers last night at the bar, when Mat’s girlfriend Julie mentioned they were going to the bookstore at midnight to get the new Harry Potter book, this suddenly seemed like THE BEST IDEA EVER.

I didn’t technically get the book. Evidently you had to be on a list or something. I figured that since this was the biggest printing in the history of mankind, I might be able to scrape one up, but no dice. It was still really fun, though. It was always a dream of mine as kid to get locked in the library or bookstore overnight, so being there at 1 am was kind of a thrill.

I wanted to grab all these little kids running around with fake scars and glasses and robes and say, Do you realize how laid this is going to get you in ten years when your college girlfriend finds out you entered the Harry Potter lookalike contest the night the fifth book came out and she goes awwwwww? The winner was ten years old and totally had hearing aids. I wanted to hug him.

I also witnessed the best exchange ever while standing in line. This chubby little kid wearing what was obviously a brown Jedi robe, not a wizard robe, was reading “Garfield Beefs Up” when this tough-looking little mini-thug wearing a gold chain and track pants and a bandana came up to him.

Mini-thug: What you readin’?
Jedi kid: (not even looking up): Garfield. You like him?
Mini-thug: He cool.

Then the mini-thug picked up a copy of the same Garfield book and they stood there together, reading, crossing lines Fox and the Hound-style, and I wish I could have taken their picture.

There were all these costumed kids and awkward preteens and their parents, plus this one guy wearing a shirt that was made entirely out of Source magazine covers, and I got all misty and turned to Mat and said, “You know, if I die right now, I will die among MY PEOPLE.”