This is me:
I wish I was taller.
I generally distrust men who tuck in their shirts, and women who feel the need to tell you everything they’ve had to eat in the past 24 hours.
I generally trust all children and dogs, but I’m on a very wary cat-by-cat basis.
Turn ons include fast readers, fast drivers, Ira Glass, and the drumming at the beginning of Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher.”
Turn offs include diet cola, large groups of women, pictures of your cat, and people who cannot get past the fact that they were once gifted children.
I’m very good at reading, listening, talking, sleeping, kissing, and missing. I own a lot of red. I am very friendly and articulate, and my hair almost always smells like wildflowers. I am not too terribly attractive. Your mother adores me, and chances are, I feel the same. You don’t want to love me, though, baby: my heart is black and crumbly, like a burnt cake pan.
That said, I think you’re fantastic.
- Baby Names for an Expected Sister
- Things People Said to Me While I Worked the Front Desk in Lieu of “Would You Throw This Away for Me?”